Don't mind my spelling, sometimes its a bit dylexic. Well, thats because I am, so be patient, it helps tremendouly.
I didn't get up until 3pm this afternoon. Its already 8:24pm and it seemed like I never had a day, I hate when that happenes.
I jumped on the computer as I do everyday, but decided to surf and do other things besides my usual Facebook, IMVU, and play Cafe' World.
It was 5 o'clock before I knew it and my teenaged daughter was starving, so I fixed her some sloppy joes.
I finally ended up on IMVU where my niece found me. She always finds me there. I wonder why. She was aking about Thanksgiving. Poor girl wanted me to come to Thanksgiving, but my brother in law wasn't being understanding. So. I'm stuck at Rich's house on that day. At leased until they all start drinking and I get pissed then grab my daughter and leave. This is my holiday routine.
Unfortunately, I am surrounded with profound alcoholics. Makes it hard to enjoy a cocktail once in a while, when those closest to you cann't handle their alcohol.
The apartment will be full of kids, but the only one I can save is my own. The other children have both parents that drink profusely. I feel like a loner. Walking against the tides. I sometimes say, that if i don't loose my daughter to alcohol, that will be a miracle all on its own. But, I am fighting like hell to keep her educated, and communicate with her about it. I already lost her to smoking. She tries to hide it. When I caught her, it broke my heart. I almost gave up, but then a voice in my head said, "Gina, don't give up. the ship hasn't sunk yet. It could be worse. Just keep talking to her". So I do.
This Thanksgiving, I won't be including my older sister in my list of holiday calls. I have tried everything I possibly could to bring us closer as a family. Our family has been through hell and back. When I thought we were all beginning to heal, she flipped out on me and did the worse thing she could have ever done, is accuse me of something I didn't so without asking me about it.
Someone told her some time ago that I was writing things about her on facebook. At the time, my Son was staying at her house cause he had no place to go, and was trying to go to school, which was a feat of its own, since he suffers from learning disorders. The College of his choice was closer to her, so it just made more sense for him to live there. So, instead of calling me about this issue, she throws him out of her house and all his belongings on her grass. To me, that is SPINELESS. She calls it stubborn and proudful, I call it cowardly.
Noone could understand why she did this. Everyone who knew me checked all through all my Facebook posts, and found nothing that would have even been confused with me writing anything.
We had a family get together coming up. My brother opened up a Pizza Parlor. Everyone went there to celebrate. Her oldest daughter who she seems to hate, was there. Not too many even acknowledged her. They treated her like crap. Well, my disappointment turned to anger, my anger turned to rage, then graduated to fury, When I went home, I wrote the meanest thing I could write ob Facebook comments. Unfortunetly, it was written under a girl she raised who I used to believe was my daughter she adopted (I'm beginning to wonder now. I am beginning to wonder if she didn't trade my daughter for a different child. Because all my kids have backbones. This girl is spineless). I was venting my anger, and when I went to click delete, I clicked send instead. So they copied it and sent the copies to all my siblings. To be honest, I believe my sister wanted it this way. She made the comment several times, that she hated family get togethers, because they only lead to drama. Well, sure they do, if you allow it. The truth is, if I had, had half the chance, I would have said it all to her face, but I didn't have that option. But glad i didn't, because it was all out of anger, anyway.
Just to point out, because of her childish behavior, I was brought down to her level, and because of that, i washed my hands of her, and to that girl I once thought was my daughter, because I do believe she was the instigator of the whole thing from the beginning. I think she was the one that told my sister I was talking about her in the beginning. But, that just put just enough fuel in my sisters engine so she can sabotage all the progress my family has made, and she can go back into her own miserable world. Well, she got her wish with me, and so did that miserable girl. I have moved on for the most part, but now I am left with picking up the little peices of her own daughter, because she can't even love her enough to get passed her teenaged years. She just discusts me.
Ok, there you have my beginnings. There is more to come. I have issues that will go on forever. So enjoy.
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